The past has been bought

There are days when my past haunts me… from the moment I wake up, every regret of my past seemingly
pops up and I cannot seem to shake the memories. The insecurities, regrets, and emotions come back, too.
Am I the only one?
Depending on my mood or even my current circumstances/situations, I react differently. Sometimes, I
react with a thought like, “I’m glad that I’m not that person anymore,” and other times I respond with
feelings of deep shame and condemnation.
Today, as it felt like someone was somehow following me around, reminding me of every terrible things
I’ve ever done, I began to panic a little. I thought to myself, “God, how could you ever choose to use me?
You know all of these things…” It was there, in that moment, I heard a small voice say, “Stop listening to
that. I don’t condemn you. I paid for that.”
The Lord is wanting to bring our past regrets to an end. We have been redeemed by Jesus at great cost.
Colossians 1:13-14 says,
“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he
loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
We don’t have to be the sum of our past mistakes and choices. Jesus paid for us to be free, rescuing us
from the darkness we lived in, and He brought us into the light, the Kingdom of the Son. He redeemed us,
He forgave us. Our past should not have a say in what or who we are now. The only past that should have
any say is His past. He died for us to be free.
But sometimes we have these moments in our past that were so powerfully impactful against us that they
prevent us from experiencing the Grace and Love of God, what He has personally done for us, and it feels
like if we would acknowledge God, we would have to somehow pretend our past didn’t happen.
I know your past happened because I know all too well that my past happened. It sometimes feels like if
people knew my past, I would be devoured and destroyed for it. Maybe it’s true. I have seen Christians do
that to other Christians… But I have never seen God do it.
More than that, I believe with all I am that pretending is a terrible thing, and God doesn’t want us to
pretend that everything is great, that our past wasn’t full of darkness. On the contrary, I believe God
wants the darkest parts of our past to linger a little in order for us to realize how amazing His love truly
is. After all, I’ve never seen a diamond put on display with a white background. It’s only when we hold
that diamond on a black, velvet background and shine the purest light on it from above that we can see
the flawless beauty.
We don’t pretend everything is perfect. That’s what the world thinks we do. No. We are all way too well
aware of our pasts, aren’t we? Instead of pretending, God wants us to realize that He loves us more than
the sum of our past, to the point where we realize in the midst of those darkest moments God was right
there with us. He never hid His face in shame. There is no shame (guilt or condemnation) in the Kingdom
of God, anyway (Romans 8:1).

Your darkest days are legitimate. But if we would allow the Love of God to come into our hearts, His love
wouldn’t cover up the wounds. No, He would HEAL our wounds. He would Heal your scars. He doesn’t
erase them, He heals them. We always remember, but more than that, we remember His love supersedes
our sins and past mistakes.
The tragedies of our past become these beautiful moments where we experience God’s love and grace,
and it’s where we get strengthened to help others who haven’t quite learned His love or experienced the
depth of His love and Grace. Those dark moments become places of strength. Yes, there are moments or
days where the haunting realities seem to attack us (I already said God doesn’t erase them), but then we
remember how wonderful God is. The past doesn’t go away. But it does lose its impact over your present
and future, so that you walk freely towards the person He made you to be.
Isn’t it amazing to know this side of God?
So the next time you are reminded of your past, and shame, guilt, or condemnation settle in, don’t beat
yourself up over it. Instead, realize what God has done with you since then. See the difference in who
you’ve become. Look how far you’ve come with Him. Don’t let your past define you.
After all… Jesus paid for your past so you could be His future. Bless you…

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